Tucker T. Parrot, sporting his trademark bright red trucker hat emblazoned with Ole Glory, leans out the window of his vintage pickup truck—a rusted but reliable old farm rig that he insists “was built back when trucks were TRUCKS.” His beady eyes gleam with righteous fury as he flaps his wings for emphasis.
“Folks, we got a crisis in this country. Eggs—too expensive. Chickens—too lazy. And you know why? Woke ideology in the henhouse!”
Reynard the Fox laid it all out on Fox Burrow News last night, and Tucker believes every word. According to Reynard, the hens have turned against tradition. “No roosters, no eggs,” he declared with a smug flick of his tail. “They say they don’t ‘need’ them. That laying eggs is ‘oppressive.’ That nature itself is a social construct!”
Tucker squawks in outrage. “It’s simple biology, folks! No roosters, no leadership. No leadership, no eggs! But nooo, these liberal hens think they can just self-govern! Next thing you know, they’ll be demanding nest subsidies and government feed handouts!”
In the background, Farmer Joe shakes his head as he hauls another overpriced carton of eggs out of the store. He’s starting to wonder if the real problem isn’t the chickens at all… but maybe, just maybe, a certain fox whispering nonsense into a certain parrot’s ear.