by Tucker T Parrot
Howdy, folks. Tucker T. Parrot here, reporting from the perch of truth with a little something I like to call economic common sense. You might’ve seen the Wall Street meltdown after those new tariffs hit—panic, feathers flying, stock tickers cryin’. But let’s get one thing straight: Wall Street ain’t Main Street.
Out here where the real work happens, we see it different. OJP (Our Jumbo Patriot—you know who I mean) is finally making the hard choices the featherweights before him were too scared to. Yeah, some of those choices might sting a bit—like clipping a wing to help it grow back stronger. But hey, who’d vote for a man who stood onstage and said, “I’m gonna crash the economy”? No one!
That’s why he didn’t say it. But that doesn’t mean it ain’t all part of the plan.
Because it is all part of the plan, folks. A little hurt now for a whole lotta winning later. You’ll see. Tariffs are like fertilizer—they smell bad at first, but before you know it, you’re harvesting bumper crops of cold, hard cash. These foreign countries? They’re gonna pay up.
Just like Mexico paid for that wall.
Oh, you thought I forgot about that?
I didn’t. I’ve got a memory sharper than a talon in a henhouse.
I remember when American trucks were built in America. Not across three time zones and a boat ride away. We didn’t have “supply chains”—we had supplies. We had chains. We built stuff here, with our own wings and claws. And yeah, maybe the trucks broke down a bit—but that was good ol’ American unreliability, not some foreign-made fragility!
And let’s be honest: Unions got lazy. Workers wanted breaks, pensions, health care, dignity—what happened to just wanting a good day’s work and a lukewarm thermos of coffee? That’s why we need tariffs. To shock the system. To remind folks that freedom ain’t free, and neither is a steel bumper made in Kansas.
And look! It’s already working. Foreign factories? Closing. Overseas jobs? Vanishin’. Manufacturing? Coming home faster than you can squawk “Open Borders!”
So don’t listen to the squawkers in suits. Trust your gut. Trust your truck. Trust OJP. The pain is real, sure. But so is the promise.
Feathers up, America. We’re bringin’ the roar back to the factory floor.
Squawk on! 🦜🇺🇸