By Karen T Parrot
Oh. My. STARS.
I can barely even type this because my feathers are shaking from excitement — my heart? SPINNING like the ceiling fans at the Florida retirement nest during happy hour. Ever since I saw Tucker’s post, I have been walking on air .
You can butter my biscuits and call me blessed — because girls, this is not just any day.
This is not just a brunch.
Not just a holiday.
That’s right, OJP- Our Joyful Parrot – is having an 80th BIRTHDAY on FLAG DAY, and yes — oh YES — THERE WILL BE A PARADE.
Did you catch that?
80 years old! Most birds (and people) at that age have the mental sharpness of room-temperature tapioca. You know it. I know it. But NOT OJP – Our Just Perfect and fearless leader! Oh no, honey. He has good genes—immaculate, superior, tremendous genes. You can’t fake that kind of cognitive sparkle. His squawk is still crystal clear, and his hair? Gleams like the golden dome of freedom itself.
And guess what else? Sit down. Seriously. Are you sitting?
I’ve been nominated — ME — to serve as BOTH the Birthday Bash Grand Master AND the Army Parade Viewing Chair.
I mean… can you even??
ME, in charge of all the festivities! Combat boots polished, patriotic spirit on FULL BLAST. You better believe I’ll be marching right into history, girls. This is the kind of honor that gives you goose pimples, bald eagle style.
We are going to have THE biggest, boldest, star-spangled bash the club has EVER seen.
Picture it:
- The Comander in Chief, turning 80, standing proudly in review of his loyal troops.
- Hair shimmering in the sun like a golden liberty torch.
- That steadfast gaze, the hallmark of a true patriot who still has all his marbles and then some.
- Me, of course, leading the coordination like the capable, humble (but fabulous) Matriarch I am.
And unlike Anne, who can’t even get her staff to tell an egg from an egg roll, I have people who know how to get it DONE. They already know: the banners will be enormous, the deviled eggs flawless, and the lemonade aggressively patriotic.
It’s more than a brunch, girls. It’s Summer Christmas wrapped in Old Glory, dipped in glitter, and served with a side of national pride.
So MARK YOUR CALENDARS right now:
June 15th.
The event of the season. No, of the decade. NO — OF THE CENTURY (so far). Keep that date open, I’m working on a streaming deal. Shhhhh!
Get your red, white, and blue ready. Shine those talons. And prepare to cry (happy tears ONLY) as OJP turns 80 — still sharp, still glorious, and still leading us in squawking the truth, louder than ever.
If you miss it, well… bless your heart, but you’ll be hearing about it until next Flag Day.
#OJP80 #FlagDayFiesta #GrandMasterKaren #ParadeOrPerish #StillSquawkingStrong