Well, well, well, folks, what do we have here? A report comes out sayin’ that free-range—excuse me, social distancing—chickens are keepin’ their egg prices steady while the rest have gone through the hen house roof. You know why? Oh, I’ll tell ya.
Those woke chickens have been fleecing us for years! That’s right, overcharging hard-working Americans while pretending to be the moral authority on egg production. And it ain’t just a coincidence, no sir. You know who’s behind this? The Left Wing Chicken Oligarchs! Ever heard of ‘em? You should. They sit in their fancy coops, raking in the profits while regular folks have to shell out more for their morning omelet.
And what do they do with all that money? Oh, you bet they ain’t just buyin’ corn feed. No, they’re funding all sorts of nefarious activities—probably lobbying for cage bans and trying to outlaw the good, honest work of the battery hen.
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ll be damned if I let a bunch of woke chickens ruin America, our freedom, and our way of life—which, by the way, includes cheap eggs! Stay vigilant, folks. The yolk’s on them this time.