To the Editor of The Parrot News,
I’ve been following your publication for the past three days, and while I admire the colorful enthusiasm of your feathered correspondents, I can’t help but notice a glaring issue—you’re just repeating whatever nonsense is floating around the internet!
I thought The Parrot News might offer a fresh, witty take on current events, but instead, it’s just an echo chamber of the same tired headlines, squawked back with little more than a tilt of the head and a flap of the wings. If I wanted regurgitated nonsense, I could scroll through social media and get it from my uncle who thinks he’s an expert on everything.
Why not shake things up? Instead of parroting the noise, why not dig into original, groundbreaking stories? Give your readers something fresh, something unexpected—something that doesn’t feel like it’s been chewed up and spit out by the internet a dozen times over. You’ve got the talent, the beaks, and the attitude—now use them for something more than just repeating whatever ridiculous thing some human shouted into the void.
Otherwise, you risk becoming just another cage full of squawking voices, each one convinced it’s saying something new while repeating the same old thing.
Sincerely,
A Reader Who’d Like More Than Just the Echo
To Our Discerning (and Slightly Confused) Reader,
Dude. We are parrots. When was the last time a parrot ever had an original thought? Our entire thing is repetition. Mimicry. Echoing the nonsense of the world around us. If you were expecting investigative journalism from a newsroom run by birds, you might want to rethink your expectations.
But hey, if you’ve got a fresh, groundbreaking idea, feel free to teach it to us! Just know that we’ll probably repeat it back to you—because, again, parrots!
Squawkfully yours,
The Editor
PS: Have your uncle send us his resume. We are hiring.