To the Editor,
I’ve been a loyal reader of The Parrot News for days, but I have to ask: why on earth are we giving Anne T. Parrot a platform?
Every time she squawks, it’s some sneering jab at another bird’s feathers or a smug quote from some long-dead philosopher she thinks makes her sound smarter than the rest of us. And let’s be honest—she’s less “sharp wit” and more “bully with a beak.” I’ve seen friendlier birds at a birdbath turf war.
Anne doesn’t debate; she condescends. She doesn’t argue; she belittles. And yet somehow she’s always perched front and center, acting like the rest of us are lucky to even hear the shrill of her squawk.
If she hates the flock so much, why not JUST LET HER GO!
Sincerely,
One Bird Too Many
Dear One Bird Too Many,
Thank you for your feisty letter. We always appreciate spirited engagement—especially when it comes in all caps and smells vaguely of sunflower seed rage.
Now, regarding Anne T. Parrot… let’s just say she has a particular talent for rattling The Publisher’s cage. If you know what I mean. And if you don’t, spend five minutes near the executive perch during her editorial “consultations” and you’ll pick up the scent of Chanel No. 5 and fresh leather.
Is she sharp-tongued? Absolutely. Elitist? Without question. Unlikable? Consistently. But unfortunately for all of us, The Publisher seems to find her… enchanting.
The Publisher is the boss and I like my job.
The boss likes Anne and she knows it.
Anne stays. Case closed.
Sincerest of Squawks,
The Editor