By Tech Bro T Parrot
So the Federal Government firings continue—and is this ever good news for us, bro.
While most bureaucrats are out here trimming fat with a dainty little scalpel, My Guy Elon showed up wielding a full-blown chainsaw, and let me tell you: he’s not just cutting—he’s carving the future.
This isn’t death by a thousand paper cuts. This is disruption by decapitation. And it’s glorious.
You’ve got legacy weasels whining about “institutional knowledge” and “national stability”—meanwhile, I’m out here watching Musk lay waste to red tape faster than his last baby momma.
I’m so jazzed I almost dyed my feathers black in solidarity.
Just kidding—I’ll always be faithful to the Orange. Orange is the color of innovation, freedom, and pumpable shitcoins – ahem – unique investment opportunities in altcoins.
Let’s run through the highlights, shall we?
🔻 Nuke maintenance guys? Gone. Why keep them current when the future is cold fusion and orbital laser defense, bro?
🔻 Dept. of Education lifers? Pack your tote bags, you’re on permanent summer vacation. (Unpaid, obviously. That’s called market correction.)
🔻 And Kristi Noem? The MAGA prairie queen – and hero to plastic surgery enthusiasts everywhere – just gave the DHS the Cricket treatment—pure silence, pure dominance. No gravel pit. No gun. Just a pen and a whim. Brutal. Iconic.
We’re watching the collapse of old systems in real time, and it’s beautiful.
If I could be so bold however, I have one recommendation for Mr. Musk. You might want to rehire the Electric Car Firefighting Division. Just a hunch, but having people that know how to put out lithium fires at the local dealership is probably a good thing.
Well, at least that’s what I heard.
Chainsaws > scalpels. Always.
Tech Bro Out!