Welcome to the The Parrot News FSQ – Frequently Squawked Questions, where we answer all your most pressing questions.
Whether you’re curious about our newsroom, our birds, or our suspiciously high-tech squawk system, you’re in the right cage. Let’s crack some seeds of truth.
❓ What is The Parrot News?
🦜 A: The Parrot News is a satirical bird’s-eye view of the human news cycle.
It’s a fictional newsroom run entirely by parrots—colorful, loud, and endlessly repeating whatever they’ve heard lately. These feathered journalists are trapped in cages they don’t realize exist, chattering away with confidence, confusion, and the occasional cracker-based bribe.
Through absurd headlines, over-the-top opinion pieces, and “hard-hitting” cage-side reporting, The Parrot News pokes fun at political echo chambers, media theatrics, and the squawk-fest of modern discourse.
It’s not fake news. It’s repeated news.
❓ Do the parrots write their own stories?
🦜 A: Of course they do! (Or at least, that’s what they’ve been told.)
Each story is proudly pecked out by a parrot at The Parrot News, using a combination of overheard conversations, cable news soundbites, and vague memories of something they think they saw on Facebook.
Our reporters don’t fact-check—they echo. And if you ask them where they got their sources, they’ll squawk, “Everyone’s saying it!” and throw a sunflower seed at you.
The editorial process? Chaotic. The grammar? Questionable. The confidence? Unshakable.
So yes, the parrots absolutely write their own stories—just don’t ask them to explain them.
❓ I hear this just AI. Is that true?
🦜 A: Technically, yes—but not just AI. We use a proprietary multi-layered Parrotic Echo Simulation Stack™ (PESS™), enhanced with real-time Neural Mimicry Oscillation (NMO™) and Avian-Linguistic Feedback Loops (ALFL™).
At The Parrot News, each article is generated through a complex blend of artificial intelligence, artificial ignorance, and artificially flavored banana chips. Our parrots are powered by the latest advancements in Repetitive Overconfidence Algorithms (ROA™), which allow them to repeat anything they’ve “heard” with a 97.6% certainty that it’s either true, trending, or tasty.
Behind the scenes, our EchoCore™ Engine analyzes thousands of human headlines, distills them into colorful squawks, and runs them through the Squawk-to-Text™ pipeline—an unstable but enthusiastic natural language model trained exclusively on talk radio, reality TV, and heated arguments in the Home Depot parking lot.
Finally we send it over to a person who adds spelling and grammatical mistakes.
This is Parrot Intelligence™: synthetic, chaotic, and just accurate enough to be dangerous.