By Karen T Parrot
Did you know there’s a building that sits smack dab on the border of the United States and Canada?
Yeah, and here’s the kicker: it’s a library.
That’s right. A sweet little building, seemingly innocent, where you can sit in the Fantasy section on the U.S. side and stroll into the Maple Syrup Archives on the Canadian side. Sounds adorable, right? Like something out of a Hallmark movie.
But girls—it’s all fun and games until you realize this is where the Canadian Fentanyl is coming from.
Oh yes. I know what you’re thinking: “Karen, how do you know this?” Well, let me tell you. I have a cousin—wonderful parrot, real patriot—whose housemate heard from their carpet cleaner that the costs are up. Way up. And it ain’t from those beautiful tariffs we’ve been imposing. No ma’am.
My cousin tells me it’s from mules.
Drug mules.
Canadian. Drug. Mules.
Apparently, they’re trotting through the stacks, hooves clacking across the border, lugging packs of the worst kind of goods—drugs. Into our beloved and free country! Mules are using a building meant for woke books as their point of entry!
And you want to know what else?
These mules are the worst kind of lot.
They eat the books.
They poop on the floor.
And that’s how they deliver the drugs.
Yes, you heard me right. These Canadian mules are literally pooping fentanyl across the border into our communities. Straight onto our American rugs.
Now, do we know exactly who is letting these mules into the library? Not yet.
But let me assure you, as soon as someone says who, I’ll be here to repeat it—true or not. That’s the kind of dedication I bring to this fight.
This—this right here—is the perfect example of the social rot that happens when we start getting cute with international buildings that straddle national borders.
One side’s serving fairy tales. And on other side – mule poop and opioids.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
We don’t need more books. We need more borders.
#CloseTheLibrary
#PoopIsNotPatriotic
-Karen