By Tech Bro T Parrot
Well, it’s about time some good ol’ American ingenuity joined F1.
That’s right—Cadillac, the icon of American luxury, is finally rolling into the pinnacle of international motorsports. This isn’t just a brand making a move—it’s a full-blown culture shift. For too long, F1 has been a European playground, dominated by sleek, tech-heavy teams with decades of racing pedigree. Now? We’re bringing some Detroit muscle to the grid.
This is the kind of disruption I live for.
Now, we don’t know who the drivers are yet… but let’s be real—I’m available. Picture it: Tech Bro T Parrot, behind the wheel, Bitcoin logo on the wing, burning rubber down the straight. I’ll sign the contract right now, as long as they paint the car orange.
And that brings me to the biggest issue.
The color.
Rumors are swirling that the Cadillac F1 car is going to be… pink.
Pink. Let that sink in.
I get it—Pink Cadillac, classic song, American nostalgia, all that. But let’s break this down logically:
1️⃣ The song? Mid. I mean, catchy, sure, but not exactly what I think of when I picture a 200-mph rocket ship cutting through Eau Rouge.
2️⃣ The Boss? Lefty. Nothing against the guy, but we need raw capitalism energy on this team, not someone who sings about factory jobs disappearing.
3️⃣ The message? Confusing.
Are we here to sell cosmetics or to dominate the grid? Because right now, it’s looking like Mary Kay is about to take the inside line at Turn 1.
Look, F1 is about precision, aggression, and power. It’s about setting the standard for high-speed excellence. The Cadillac name should be striking fear into the hearts of the competition. Instead, we’re out here worrying that the car is going to look like it belongs in a parking lot outside a beauty salon.
I need someone—anyone—at Cadillac to wake up. If we’re bringing an American brand to the global stage, we go in bold. No pastels. No soft branding. Just raw, American power.
Make it black and gold—the true colors of dominance.
Make it blue and white—classic Cadillac heritage.
Make it orange—because, well, that’s just good branding.
But pink? Come on, bro.
That said, this is still a massive win. Cadillac in F1 is the disruption we need. More teams, more competition, more proof that American engineering is second to none.
So yeah, I’ll grit my beak and overlook the color choice—as long as this thing is blazing fast.
But hear me now, if I see one fucking lipstick logo on the sidepod, I swear, I’m shorting GM stock to zero!