By Tucker T Parrot
Hey gang, Tucker T Parrot here, reporting live from the front porch where America still stands for something — strong fences, firm feathers, and the occasional bold leap into the unknown. And boy, do I have a squawk-worthy update for you today.
You thought we were done with walls? Think again. You thought version one was enough? Oh no, no, no. Buckle your beaks, because Our Jumbo Patriot is back with another bird-brained brainstorm — and I say that with all due admiration.
It’s here.
It’s huge.
It’s The Wall Version 2.0.
But this ain’t your backyard border fence, folks. This isn’t even just a bigger, better land barrier. This time? It’s in space.
You heard me right. We’re talkin’ a wall… in space. And not just any wall — a shimmering symbol of sovereignty orbiting above us all. And wait until you hear what it’s called. Ready?
The Golden Dome.
Now if that name doesn’t blow your feathers clean off, then I don’t know what will. Because let’s be honest — no one does branding quite like OJP. This is the man with a golden throne, golden elevator buttons, and if I’m not mistaken, he even has golden showers.
So naturally, the wall in the sky would be golden too. It’s a branding trifecta. First The Wall. Then Space Force. Now the Golden Dome. I mean, who else could sell you security and gold-plated glamor at the same time?
Now I know, I know — there are doubters out there. The usual crowd with their “physics” and their “international treaties” and their “uh, this seems logistically impossible.”
But let me remind you — this is the same man who built The Wall Version 1.0 and made Mexico pay for it. At least that’s how I remember it, and memory is truth around here.
You can’t argue with that kind of success.
This wall isn’t just for stopping border crossers. Oh no. This one? It’s a space shield, a freedom filter, a giant cosmic “Do Not Disturb” sign to let the world — and possibly Martians — know that America is closed for interference and open for business.
Now, sure, some of the details are still… developing. Like how it’ll be built, what it’ll block, whether or not it violates every existing treaty with every space agency on the planet. But let me ask you this: Do you want a president who thinks small?
Of course not. This is what leadership looks like — eyes on the stars, wallet open, and no earthly idea how to pay for it.
And speaking of paying — some folks are asking who’s footing the bill. To that I say: Have a little faith. If Mexico could foot the tab for version one, I don’t see why Canada, NASA, or maybe even Elon can’t chip in for this one. Freedom has many sponsors.
So here’s to you, OJP. Visionary. Brand wizard. Builder of boundaries — terrestrial and galactic.
The Golden Dome is rising. And if that doesn’t make you feel safe, shiny, and slightly confused, I don’t know what will.
— Tucker T. Parrot
“Reporting from Earth, cheering for space.” 🦜🚀🇺🇸