Welcome to The Parrot News
At The Parrot News , we squawk the truth as we’ve heard it—loud, proud, and completely unfiltered! Here at TPN, we believe in patriotism, the kind that comes with bright feathers, loud voices, and a deep devotion to repeating what we’ve been told. Thinking is for the birds—real birds, not us parrots. Our job is to take in the latest headlines, soundbites, and half-baked opinions and regurgitate them with confidence, clarity, and absolutely no context.
Our star reporters sit perched in their gilded cages, utterly convinced they have a front-row seat to the world. They listen intently—to the television blaring in the background, the frantic phone calls, the barroom debates, and the dinner-table diatribes—and then they repeat, word for word, exactly what they’ve heard. Analysis? Interpretation? Critical thinking? Never! Our journalistic integrity means never letting facts get in the way of a good, loud squawk.
Every day, our newsroom echoes with the latest in politics, world affairs, and celebrity gossip, all chirped out with unwavering confidence. Did someone say the economy is booming? Squawk! The economy is booming! Did another voice whisper that it’s on the verge of collapse? Squawk! The economy is doomed! Whatever the wind carries, our parrots deliver—because if you’ve heard it, it must be true.
So sit back, relax, and let The Parrot News keep you informed—whether it makes sense or not. After all, in a world where everyone’s just repeating what they’ve heard, why shouldn’t you wonder, “What the fuck?”